“You were gone a long time,” she said. “Did you have trouble finding something?”

He frowned, not wanting to admit he’d been pacing around the damn store avoiding the inevitable moment he’d have to go back and face her and accept the fact that he’d probably never touch her again. “Not everything,” he said, poking the meat loaf with his fork but not taking a bite. “I got the milk.”

“No cond—coffee filters?”

“They were all out of cond—coffee filters.”

“All out?” She frowned. “I swear I saw a box when we were there the other day. They were right up by the register.”

He shifted on the bench, not wanting to admit he’d stared at the same damn box of condoms and thought about having her again. Maybe just one more time before she walked out of his life forever. Instead, he’d forced himself to walk away. “The box was damaged. Can’t risk having holes in coffee filters.”

Across the table, Gordy wiped his chin with a napkin. “You like the kind with the pointy tip, or the big wide ones?”

Schwartz blinked. “Uh— ”

Laverne beamed. “Oooh, I like the new ones they’re making now with the flavor-enhancing micro-perforations.”

Schwartz dared a glance at Janelle and saw that her face had gone from pink to bright red. She opened her mouth to say something, but Laverne cut her off.

“You know, I just love the ones with the extra-large base. The box says it makes for a deeper, bolder experience.”

Janelle choked on her drink, and Schwartz turned to see her sputtering into a glass that looked suspiciously full of moonshine.

“How much of that have you had?” he asked.

“Not enough,” she said.